Sad, but not all sad

Yesterday morning a vet came to our house to assess our sweet boy cat Flow, who has been slowly declining.  We had prepared ourselves for the possibility of euthanasia, but were also hoping she might be able to suggest some way to give him more time.  She listened to our descriptions of how he has behaved, the changes in his habits, and looked him over very gently.  She never urged us in any one direction, but she did agree with our inevitable conclusion that to wait any longer would be to let him get to a point where he would be suffering. 

She gave him a mild sedative, so artfully delivered that he seemed not even to notice it.  Then she slipped away to allow us a few moments to love on him, whisper sweet nothings to him, reassure him that he is loved and has been one of the best parts of our life.  Finally she very respectfully and almost invisibly gave him another sedative, and then that last fatal dose.  It was all done quietly and kindly.  She took our boy away, and now the house seems much emptier.

Good-bye, Flow.  Thanks for all the purring and playfulness and for waking us up at 4:30 in the morning but being so darned cute that we couldn't mind it.  Thank you for making us a family and our house a home.  Thank you for all the lap time and bag love time and for the way you used to patrol the perimeter to keep us safe.  Good kitty.

So it was a sad day for us, but not all sad.  It was the first sunny day in quite a while, a squeaky clean sky, crisply blue, sunny but not hot, fresh fresh fresh.  Sweet Hubby and I took a walk in a nearby wooded park, so peaceful and cool, bird songs, people out with dogs, glimpses of hummingbirds.  I made us some wonderful muffins, baked with a dab of jam in the middle and a cinnamon-sugar topping.  We ran errands together, and held hands all day.

The nicest part of the day was getting an email from a theater company in Florida which had chosen my play Want for development and production.  They wanted the rights to a world premiere production, but those rights belong to the company currently rehearsing the play for an opening here in Seattle, so I had to turn down the Florida theater.  The Artistic Director wrote back, of my rejection, that he was "pierced through the heart!"  (The exclamation point was his.)  It was very reassuring to see another theater excited about this play.  It is gritty and provocative enough that I have been concerned about whether anyone would embrace it.

So all in all, a good day, a full day, with a portion of deep sorrow in it to balance, but not cancel, the goodness.