Monday, March 13, 2023


Sweet Hubby is very -  one might even say extremely - conscious of security.  He is always scoping the landscape or situation for what might go wrong, and takes whatever preventive measures he can.  Stepping from our kitchen onto our backyard deck, for example, entails getting out a hidden key, unlocking two locks on the door, then unlocking the screen door.  

I know I should be grateful for being kept so safe, and I am to a certain degree.  But I also rebel, sometimes inwardly, sometimes outwardly, against all this attention given to what can go wrong.  That's not where I want to focus my thoughts.  I once lived with a gunsmith who had 3 large dogs, a gun in his fanny pack, a gun under the pillow, a gun in the glove box.  I should have felt supremely safe, but instead I felt uncomfortable and stressed, not because I was concerned about a gun accident  but because all those security measures seemed to shout out, "The bad guys are going to get us!  We have to protect ourselves every moment!"

I'm no cock-eyed optimist wearing rose-colored glasses.  I've been mugged 5 times, my car has been broken into and my tires slashed.  And I've experienced my share of non-malicious dangers as well.  I've had my missteps and falls; I was once concussed while crossing the street by a stop light a driver had knocked over.  I know there are criminals.  I know gun violence is on the rise in this country.  I lock the house when I leave home and my car when I park.  This isn't me closing my eyes and stopping up my ears, singing, "Lalala, the world is safe, nothing bad will ever happen to meeeeee!"

What I rebel against is focusing on what's bad and dangerous.  There is a worldview encouraged by political leaders and given a megaphone by the media that we, the public, have a right to be safe and that our safety is under imminent and constant threat.  This kind of thinking is both ugly and ridiculous.  Ridiculous because of course we are not safe in this world, and have no reason to think that we ought to be.  There unquestionably are dangers galore, from microscopic germs to melting glaciers to outright war, slippery surfaces, hard edges, falling branches, drunk drivers, thieves, etc. ad infinitum.  And ugly because this worldview is fear-based, and people make very bad decisions when choosing from fear.  TSA is one big fear-based mess of a waste of time, energy, and resources.

I believe there are those who want me to feel afraid so that I will look to them to protect me.  That is what I rebel against.  I simply don't want to buy what they're selling. Bad things may happen, will happen.  But I decline to be thinking about them all the time.  That's just not where I want my thoughts and energy to go.  I'll take my chances, thank you very much, and I'll just  handle what comes.  

1 comment:

  1. "... people make very bad decisions when choosing from fear." Bad decisions and they become paralyzed and go along with (and/or vote for) those who proclaim themselves the protectors.

    But with regard to SH, I think of William Glasser and my Judy. Glasser says every human being has 5 basic needs: Love & belonging, freedom, fun, power, and safety. And the level of these needs varies among people. On a scale of 1-5, Judy is a 5 on safety. She's the one who checks the doors, has put up the surveillance cameras, has put up "No Parking" signs on our fence in the alley so no car is there making it easy for someone to stand on it and jump over our fence. I'm a 3. Not that I'm careless, just not always thinking about the way someone or something might endanger or harm me. So I've learned to not be offended if Judy checks the doors behind me when I say I've locked them. She needs to make sure so I've surrendered that chore knowing I can rest easy because she's made sure I'm safe. xoA <3