At this point in my life, I find I'm contemplating what I should do with my money. (It almost feel weird to use that word 'money'; it sounds a little blunt and coarse, like asking someone how much they weigh, or saying 'died' instead of 'passed away'. It feels like a taboo word, even though it's the word which drives so much human activity and desire. Hm.) After a lifetime of living on the edge, I actually have money to think about now, thanks solely to the hard work and wise choices of my ancestors and parents, not because of any accomplishment or virtue of mine.
Because my good fortune is a gift unearned, I feel I ought to be conscious and conscientious about what I do with it. Should I better myself by traveling the world? Support worthy causes (of which there are so many, I hardly know how to choose)? Be generous to the people in my world? Save it for the next generation? I don't have children, but I do have nieces and nephews, and even though they are already guaranteed by a trust to share a good-sized portion of my estate, I still have to decide what to do with the portion that is free from restraints.
As I think about, I'm wondering if a better question is to ask what to do with my time. Rather than subscribing to the old saying that "Time is money", I have always believed that "Money is time". Having money means that, instead of spending my life at a job I may or may not enjoy, I am able to write, read, be with friends, travel, play, learn, expand, explore, give, receive, sit still. So I guess that's what is most significant to decide: What do I want to do with my time? I want to do, and do do, all the aforementioned. But am I frittering? At the end of my life, what am I going to regret not doing? I have heard and believe that deathbed regrets are almost never about what one has done, but about what one neglected to do. (Like the woman in the Lichtenstein painting: "I can't believe it. I forgot to have children.")
I'm not writing this because I've come to an answer, but mostly because I am so aware that it's time to take these questions seriously. In one's 20's, 30's, 40's, even 50's and 60's this isn't a particularly urgent matter, but I'm 70 now, and although I expect to live long and healthy life, I know I have more past than future. I don't feel panicked or anxious, but really, I want to wake up as fully as I can to how I spend that future. I don't want to be driven by habit, inertia, or carelessness.
Partly to address this subject - I've started another blog!! I'm really excited about it. It's called "I do something new every day". And I mean it too. For however long I can keep it up, I'm challenging myself to do something new every single day. I'll continue to muse and opine on this blog, but I find I'm very much looking forward to seeing how true I can stay to the idea of doing something new every day. It's going to be a hoot! This doesn't completely answer the question of "Is this how I want to spend my time?" but it should, at the very least, be stimulating and keep me alert and conscious.
Check it out at idosomethingneweveryday.blogspot.com.
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