Tuesday, September 20, 2022

Sexy Ldy and her sisters

Long ago, when I was living in L.A., I went to a Taco Bell drive-through.  After getting my order, I tried to drive away, but the woman who had ordered before me had parked her car across the driveway while she went back to the window to ask for more hot sauce.  Her car was a little red convertible something with the vanity place SEXYLDY.  

She was, indeed, most Americans' idea of what a sexy woman should look like: perky breasts, small waist, impeccable make-up, high heels, and a lolling, fluid sort of posture.  I rolled down my window and told her that her car was blocking the exit.  She shrugged casually and said "Oh well", then turned back to the window.  The proof of her allure was that several sort of seedy men standing around sided with her and chastised me for daring to admonish her.

At the time I wrote her off as a bitch, but now, forty years later, I find I have some interesting, interested questions about her.  She advertised with her license plate that the thinks she is sexy (yes) and a lady (definitely not).  Seems to me that's a label you should let others give you, not claim for yourself.  And why did she want everyone to know that she thinks she's sexy?  This was Hollywood, so it's extremely likely that she was an actress, or at least a wannabe.  Was the license plate meant to attract the eyes of casting agents?  But if that's the case, why not have the plate TALENTD?  Or did she think being sexy was all she needed?  (The sad thing is that in Hollywood, sometimes it is.)

Was the plate meant to attract men?  Well, of course it was.  But to what end?  Was she hoping for a boyfriend or husband?  It doesn't seem to me that the kinds of men who would be attracted to her because of her sexed up idea of herself would necessarily be the kind of men who are looking for a partner, a real partner, a partner for life.  Did she hope maybe to draw the attention of a potential sugar daddy?  I image that's the only sort of man who would want a woman purely because she is sexy.  Did she just want men to want to fuck her, whether she would allow them to or not?  Really, I'm just fascinated.  What and who as the plate for?

The women I'm calling her sisters are two porn movie babes I've seen in a video.  Both have long, platinum hair and excessively large, unnaturally round breasts.  These women chose that hair and those breasts.  I can't help but wonder what they were thinking when they decided to undergo breast implant surgery.  What vision did they have of the future?  Did they actually want to be in porn videos?  Did they actually want men to jackoff at the sight of them?  Did they just want manly attention, any kind of attention?  Because having huge breasts is certainly one way to get that.  But to what end?  What did they hope that ogling attention would bring with it?

All of these questions spring from my thoughts on Hollywood's, and therefore this country's, and therefor this world's, beauty culture.  Because women are so objectified, how we look is our main strength, and our own focus on how we look is often our main weakness.  

Maybe women's focus on our looks goes back to prehistoric times, when men could fuck anything and anyone they wanted to, and women were made vulnerable by having both children and smaller muscles.  Maybe women evolved to learn that they had to do whatever it took to get a man to notice them, have sex with them, and then - and this is the tricky part - stay with them to protect them.  Is that what's driving women to artificially and surgically alter ourselves, go on lifelong diets, spend billions on beauty products, wear shoes that cause us agony?

I think I thought Sexy Ldy was a bitch because I knew I couldn't compete with her on the level of looks.  I imagined I was smarter, and knew for certain I was nicer, but she was winning in the way which, in Hollywood, counts more than any other.  I am so glad to be out of L.A., and so happy to be old enough now that nobody expects me to look any other way than I do.  I'm most especially glad that I married a man who loves me for who I am both inside and out, upside and down.  I wonder if Sexy Ldy and her sisters have that kind of love in their lives.  I hope they do.  Because time and gravity will have had their way with them, as they do with us all.


  1. No, you thought she was a bitch because that is how she behaved.

  2. Amen. (Reminds me of my mother).