Us at our best

Recently Sweet Hubby and I had a fight, one of the big ones.  I felt that he had stepped in on something we had agreed I would handle, which brought up the times that I have felt disempowered by him, as though he believes he needs to be in charge of everything, which implies I'm not competent, can't be trusted, blah blah blah.  This is what sometimes happens when two very strong, very smart people who have lived independently for a long time come together in partnership.  SH is used to doing things on his own, in his own time and his own way.  The trouble is, so am I.

It's true that he is much more skilled than I am in many more areas, and often it makes sense for him to take the lead when something needs doing.  But there are certain projects I want done that are not as important to him, so they simply don't get done, or they get done in a way that's good enough but sort of jerry-rigged.  This was one of those projects.  I had figured that, instead of pushing him to get to it, I would take it off his hands, because it seemed more important to me than to him.

Anyway, we stood there bumping heads and egos for a while.  I couldn't seem to get him to understand how it feels to me when he takes over something I'm doing.  He said at one point that he'd been concerned that I would complete this project without discussing it with him - so he took it over and he did what he did without discussing it with me.  At that point in the conversation, I had to go hole up in my office with the door closed (but not slammed - we don't slam doors on each other).  I was too frustrated about him not understanding why I this was so upsetting to me.

Maybe an hour later, our paths crossed again, and he, my wonderful SH, said "I've been thinking about it and you're right, I do that, and I'm really sorry."  I was sort of gobsmacked.  I have known all along that he is a big man, a mature man, a generous and well-meaning man, but for him to be able to take complete responsibility for what had gone wrong just blew me away.  Now I realize he is a great man.  Not many of us are able to say "I was wrong".  I certainly have a hard time with it.  But he gave it thought and saw himself and apologized.

And that's why this one is titled "Us at our best".  In each other's company, inside this partnership, we learn and grow and rise.  Oh my gosh, how lucky am I?